Cyberbullying: Expert shares the warning signs to look for over summer
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With the summer holidays fast approaching, many kids will be looking forward to the break and time to enjoy themselves outside of school. But for some children, the summer holidays can be a stressful time when online interactions with their friends and classmates can result in harmful cyberbullying.
In these cases it’s vital that parents understand the key warning signs, and how to react if their child is a victim of online bullying. For this reason, Catherine Talbot, Senior Learning Designer at the expert safeguarding course providers, High Speed Training, and Caroline Allams, Natterhub Co-founder and former educator, have revealed the telltale signs of cyberbullying, and how to talk to your child if they’re being bullied.
Caroline says: “Cyberbullying takes many forms but some of the most common examples include direct messages containing upsetting or humiliating content, deliberate exclusion from group chats with peers, posting hurtful comments, tagging inappropriate images or videos to the child in question and creating memes designed to be offensive or personal.
“Setting rules around screen time and taking devices out of the bedroom are great ways to oversee a young child’s online use. Have regular discussions about their digital experiences and take an interest in the games they play. These actions will ensure a child knows where to turn if something upsetting happens and helps guide them towards digital independence.”
Catherine adds: “Seemingly harmless emojis such as a frog can hide harmful subtext, in this case meaning that the recipient is ugly. Similarly, text abbreviations might look like nonsense to you, but could be deeply hurtful to your child. The abbreviation ‘182’ for example means ‘I hate you’.”
How to address bullying with your child
Catherine says: “If you’ve discovered that your child is being bullied, it’s important to respond calmly and be supportive. Finding out your child is in distress will likely make you feel angry and protective, but it’s important not to act rashly in a way that could make the situation worse.
Catherine shares her expert advice on addressing bullying with a child:
- Discuss the facts
Catherine shares: “Sit down with your child and find out what is happening to them. Let them talk through their experiences and how they’re feeling without interrupting or prompting them. You may have your own thoughts or suspicions about what’s happening, but it’s important to stay neutral for now to allow your child to tell their version of events.
“You should also try to establish some key facts. Who is the child, or children who are bullying them? How long has this been happening? What does the abuse involve? Have they spoken to anyone else about it? This will help you understand how to proceed.”
- Support and reassure them
Catherine comments: “The most important thing to do is to reassure your child and offer them all the support they need. They’ll likely be feeling a range of emotions, and may blame themselves or feel shame for what they’re going through. Reassure them that it’s not their fault, and that you’re going to help them get through it. It’s important that your child doesn’t feel like they’re going through this alone, and know they can talk to you about it.”
- Discourage retaliation
Catherine explains: “Some children may feel angry about their experiences or feel that they do not have control over their situation, and may want to retaliate against the bully, or even against someone else. It’s important to strongly discourage this.
“Instead, discuss non violent solutions that can help your child. Find out what they want to happen, and what they don’t want to happen. Some children may be scared about the bully finding out that they’ve been exposed, so it’s important to discuss the best way to proceed that your child is comfortable with. Consider running through scenarios with your child to help them prepare for possible outcomes.”
- Control your own emotions
Catherine says: “It’s also important to remember to keep your own emotions in check, and not let them dictate your actions. Storming off to confront the bully or their parents, or kicking up a fuss in school might be the last thing your child wants, and could even make the situation worse. This will also likely put your child off from wanting to discuss this or similar issues with you in future.”
- Raise the issue
Catherine elaborates: “Once you’ve spoken to your child, and discussed how to proceed, you may want to raise the issue. If you have a relationship with the parents of the other children involved, you can contact them to discuss the issue and try to resolve it amicably. Remain calm and confident, and avoid blaming anyone in particular. Make sure you have all the information you need, and a clear idea of what you and your child want to happen next.
“If the problem persists into next school year, you may want to raise the problem with your child’s teachers. Make an appointment with the school and work with them to solve the problem. You should continue to monitor the situation by documenting any instances of bullying and raising them as soon as possible with the school. If you find that things don’t improve, or not enough has been done by the school, you may want to consider following the school’s complaints procedure or consider writing to Ofsted.”
For more information about High Speed Training, and their child safeguarding courses, visit: https://www.highspeedtraining.co.uk/courses/safeguarding/
You can find more information about where to find help and support from the Anti Bullying Alliance here: https://anti-bullyingalliance.org.uk/tools-information/advice-and-support/if-youre-being-bullied/find-help-and-support
